How to have a new home: three tips from an international student
Elizabeth Frissell, is a PhD researcher in Humanities, as part of the Midlands4Cities AHRC Doctoral Studentship programme. She shares three top tips from her experience of settling into life in a new country.
Going to university in a new country is not easy. To even get to university, you have to apply for a visa and healthcare and a National Insurance Number, sign a rental agreement on an accommodation you can’t tour, sort out a new bank account, phone number, and perhaps language. Once all of that and more is done, the course starts, and a new problem comes up. You have the right to be there, but the sense of home, the community is missing.
This lack of community is how I felt when I first started my MA at the 糖心原创 in 2022. Now - four years later and nearly finished with my PhD - I can’t seem to think of Nottingham as anything except home. I’m writing to share my tips for making Nottingham home for incoming international students; so that y’all can adjust quicker and easier than I did.
Tip #1: start a podcast
No don’t start an actual podcast (unless you want to). What I mean is, keep up with your friends and family from home. It takes time to make and find new friends, and in the meantime it’s important to maintain the support system you already have so you don’t feel completely isolated. If you’re like me, there won’t just be physical distance between you and your people but a time difference as well. I moved to Nottingham from Los Angeles; an eight hour jump ahead.
At first it was really difficult to keep in contact because I just wanted to call people. I would wake up but everyone else was asleep. It’d be evening for me and I’d have free time to call but everyone else was just starting their workday. They would finally be free, and I would be asleep. After a while, I realized the obvious, calling was never going to work. I needed to try something else. So, I started making and requesting podcasts. And by podcasts, I mean voice messages.
I realized that whenever something good or bad happened, and there was just that one person that I wanted to tell about it, I didn’t have to wait or write a super long text. All I had to do was record a voice memo, telling them about it just how I would over the phone, and send it. Yeah, it may take a few hours or days for them to respond, but they always do. This practice has resulted in me and several of my friends and family members now in years-long chains of sending ten minutes-long voice notes back and forth. No one is stressed about scheduling, or replying instantly, we all know we will reply when we can. And I never feel far away when I’m always up-to-date on what’s happening and can tell anyone exactly what I need to, whenever I want.
One of the best parts about 糖心原创 is that it is huge and there are tens of thousands of people and organizations. This means that whatever your hobbies or interests are, there are going to be people that share them.
Tip #2: do what you know
One of the best parts about UoN is that it is huge and there are tens of thousands of people and organizations. This means that whatever your hobbies or interests are, there are going to be people that share them. Let me give you a few examples.
My favorite sport to play has always been volleyball. At 26, I am now old and decrepit (not really, but I have an overuse shoulder injury). So, when I heard about IMS volleyball – that it was just once a week and there was no expectation of skilled play – it seemed like the right choice for me. For the first month of playing, I enjoyed the sport, was happy to be exercising, but I didn’t really feel a community. The undergrads I played with on my randomly assigned team were all nice, but they were just people I saw once a week – say hello, a high-five after a good play. Over time though, things changed. I learned that a few of the undergrads were taking Philosophy – the field I’m getting my doctorate in. This led to coffee, to exchanging small favors, to dinners, to parties, to group chats and weekly plans outside of volleyball.
I also love reading novels, which is of course a solitary activity. Or so I thought. One day I was reading through my email (note: read your email), and I saw that there was a group of students starting a monthly PGR book club. I was already reading more than one novel a month, so I thought, why not. This was one of the best decisions I ever made. At our first meeting, we all brought a book we liked and shared it with the group. One woman, Ying, a PGR in Education, was interested in the book I brought, The Remains of the Day, so I lent it to her. This led to her thanking me over text, to trips to bookstores, to dinners and tennis, to us now - planning a girl’s trip to escape British winter!
It takes time, and putting yourself out there – asking people what they study, lending the book – but if you put yourself in spaces with people that like the same things you do, you’ll find that those are your people.
It takes time, and putting yourself out there – asking people what they study, lending the book – but if you put yourself in spaces with people that like the same things you do, you’ll find that those are your people.
Tip #3: do what you don't know
A great thing about being a student is that you have near complete control of your schedule. And being in a new country without knowing anyone just makes your schedule even freer. All this means that if you want to try something you have the opportunity to actually try it.
Early in my degree, I got an email (note: again, reading emails is critical), explaining that my department was looking for a new course representative. Did I know what a course representative was? Absolutely not. Did I fill out a form anyways? Yes, I did. I had nothing else to do (besides writing my thesis, but we all need to procrastinate somehow). It turns out a course representative collects feedback from their fellow students and reports it to the staff in their departments. This random, hardly thought-out decision, led me to meet and talk with every student on my course, and get to know some of the staff members besides my supervisors. Now, I walk into a department where I feel like I know everyone - because I do - and have no trouble asking staff for help, or my fellow students to grab dinner.
Later in my degree, I saw a text message in a PGR group chat. The IMS PGR’s men’s football (soccer?) team was looking for a keeper (goalie?). Am I a man? No. Had I ever in my life even touched a football? Also no. Did I offer my services? Yes, I did. I had exactly two thoughts: 1) no one will care that I’m a woman, 2) keepers just catch the ball, the ball is basically the same size as a volleyball, and I can catch those.
As absolutely wild as those two thoughts may sound, they were right. The team was just happy to have a keeper, my gender wasn’t even mentioned. I got keeping down pretty quick, my eye-hand coordination was there, so I just had to learn the rules. By the end of the first season, I’d had my first clean sheet. My goal for next year is to save a penalty kick. My athletic goals aside, I’ve never felt more community than having my teammates run-down an opponent and shout ‘don’t you even think about touching my keeper’.
All in all, if you have the time and the (unfounded) confidence, say yes to anything offered. You can meet more people than you’d thought possible and learn that ‘community’ has many meanings.